"Dashed Dreams" Genesis 37:12-36 Pastor Allan Wooters, D.Min.

“Pursue your dreams!” “If you believe it, you can achieve it!” “Never give up on your dreams.” These sentiments sound great. There is some factual reality to these statements. Having a dream is great. It motivates, empowers, and builds direction for our lives. But there’s another fact. Many dreams will not come true or worse, they come true but then fall apart. The effect can be profound especially as believers who trust that any dream we have is one God gave us. In the case of Joseph, he had to learn how to cope with the loss of several dreams in rapid succession.  

We read in vs.1 – 11 how messed up Joseph’s family was. That same dysfunction carries on in our text. Jacob tells Joseph to go check on his brothers to see how they are doing. He had reason to be worried. The text notes the men are in Shechem. Back in chapter 34 we read of two of the brothers, Simeon and Levi, who deceived then slaughtered the men and plundered a tribe called the Hivites. Little doubt that revenge would be in the air for years. The surviving women and children would want justice. Why those men went to that area is beyond me. Perhaps they wanted to show the other tribes they were not afraid. It could be that area had the best pastures, or it maybe they didn’t think about the risk at all. Indeed, their lack of intelligence shows itself in chapter 37. But Jacob isn’t thinking either. How could he not see that sending his favorite son to check up on his hate-filled brothers would be a good thing?  

Joseph, however, obeys his father. Did he not question how he would be received? Did he think that by showing that he cared enough to check up on them that they would appreciate the concern? Who knows? The brothers see Joseph coming, first plan to kill him, then thanks to the pleading of a brother named Reuben, Joseph’s life is spared (vs.18 – 24). Instead of killing Joseph the men decide to sell him into slavery. This deed being done, the men take Joseph’s coat, stain it with the blood of a goat and deceive their father into thinking that a wild animal had mauled Joseph to death. Incredible. These men thought nothing of what their actions would do to their father. They thought nothing of the guilt they would carry. They only cared about getting rid of Joseph permanently. They got their wish, but life would never be the same.

But what of Joseph? We read earlier in this chapter of him having two dreams where he is reigning as a king. What happens to those dreams now? But there’s more. Joseph was a typical man. There’s no doubt that he had dreams like that of most other young men. One day he would meet the right girl, marry her, and move to Nebraska to enjoy the “Good Life.” Okay, not that, but that he dreamed of a good life is not hard to imagine. Who doesn’t have such dreams? But now, as he rode in that caravan headed for the slave market in Egypt, what would happen to his dreams? What happens to anyone, to you and me, when a dream dies? How do we cope? How do we hope again? Let’s seek to answer such matters. First, we need to see that losing a dream sends us into a time of grief.  

The Loss of a Dream Creates Grief 

Grief happens with any significant loss. It is not reserved just for the sad times when someone close to us dies. We grieve the loss of a job, a relationship, a life ideal, or any dream we embrace. It doesn’t matter what the dream might be, when we see it isn’t going to happen, it is a profound loss and we grieve. If the loss of a dream occurs quickly, we experience shock when we recognize our dreams are gone. We go through periods of sadness, anger, longing, until we finally get to a level of acceptance of what has happened. While we will come to accept that our dream or dreams are gone, an element of longing and sadness will always remain.  

However, there’s another factor we face over the loss of a dream. This factor was put plainly by writer Vaneetha Risner in an article at John Piper’s Desiring God website. Vaneetha says: 

Sometimes my faith is shaken when my dreams are shattered. I wonder where God is in the midst of my suffering. I cannot sense His presence. I feel alone and afraid. My faith wavers. I question what I have long believed. I wonder what is real, especially when my experience doesn’t match my expectations. This wavering deeply troubles me. I have tasted God’s goodness, enjoyed close fellowship with him, rested in his tender care. I have known both His power and His love. Yet in the midst of profound struggle, I have no answers. Just questions. ¹ 

Thankfully, there are answers. But in the grip of experiencing the loss of a dream, it does seem there are no answers. Just questions.  

John the Baptist seems to have gone through this. He fully believed the Jewish dream of the day that God would send His Messiah and fulfill His promises to Israel of the nation defeating all evil powers and the kingdom of David being reestablished. This belief became stronger when God called John to proclaim that Messiah was coming very soon. So, he gave his life to preaching a message of repentance seeking to prepare the way of the Lord. His dream is working out! Messiah has come! John even baptized Him! But Jesus doesn’t rise up and establish any kingdom. There’s no judgment as John had preached. Then John is arrested, but Jesus still doesn’t display God’s power as John understood He would. John finally sends messengers to Jesus asking if He really is the Messiah or should John be looking for someone else. John’s dream is seemingly dashed; just as Joseph’s dreams no doubt were. What a loss! What grief would naturally come. That’s the challenging part of losing our dream. But there are two positive factors to remember when our dreams vanish. The first of these two positive factors are that the loss of any dream creates the opportunity for a new dream.  

The Loss Creates the Opportunity for a New Dream 

By all indications, when Joseph accepted that his dream for a normal life and maybe even the dream of ruling was gone, he reset his life in light of his circumstances. After he is sold into slavery, he worked so hard and did such a great job that his master put him in charge of his entire estate. Joseph didn’t let the seeming death of his dreams keep him from living life and living it the best he could and doing the best he could. Now, it could be argued that he never gave up on his ultimate dream of ruling. If he was convinced that God had giving him the dreams, Joseph must have been convinced that somehow God would work it out. Yet, any idea of living back in the Promised Land, of marrying the right girl from that region, and having a normal life was gone.  

Let us understand that the loss of any dream is an opportunity to recast our dream. Yes, when a dream dies, we need to come to terms with it. But then we go to God and seek His wisdom to build a new dream. That dream may be totally new or have parts of the old dream still in it, but it will be a new dream. Indeed, with God, such is always the case. So, losing a dream opens up the opportunity to discover a new and maybe better dream. The second reality is that the loss of a dream shows us God’s dream (or will) for us.  

Our Loss Can Reveal God’s Dream for Us 

In Joseph’s case, the dream of ruling was not mistaken. It was just how God was going to see that dream come to fruition in Joseph’s life that is the issue. And it might be that way with you. You had a dream. It seems to have been lost. But has it? Well, you don’t know. You have pretty much given up on that dream but maybe God hasn’t. That would mean we don’t totally let go of the dream but instead, we surrender it to God. This can be hard. How hard was it for Joseph to keep believing that he would rule one day when he was simply a slave? It would be even harder later when he was falsely accused of attempted rape and confined to prison. What of his dream then? Yet, because it was God’s dream – God’s will – for Joseph to rule, the dream would not fully die. Joseph might have been tempted to walk away from the dream, but God kept it alive.  

Here’s what we know when it comes to dealing with our dreams and the nature of God. We know that God is still in control even of dashed dreams. Yes, Joseph had a dream that didn’t fully die but no doubt others did. No one’s dreams all come true. But when one dies, we can remind ourselves that God is still Lord of all circumstance. Just think of the number of “coincidences” that had to happen just to get Joseph to Egypt where God could fulfill Joseph’s dreams beyond his wildest imagination.  

Joseph’s brothers had to move from Shechem to Dothan so they could be at that route where trade with Egypt moved. If they had been in another area, they would have missed the slave traders which means Joseph wouldn’t have ended up in Egypt. Also, that the slave traders just happened to be going by at that exact time is amazing. Then if Reuben hadn’t been able to stall his brothers’ desire to kill Joseph, then naturally there would be no Joseph to sell into slavery. That would put an end to God’s promises to Abraham and really for His ultimate plan to send Jesus to be our Savior.  

You never know what God might do for us. In my research for this message I came across the story of a man named Fredrick Nolan. Nolan was fleeing from his enemies during a time of persecution in North Africa. Exhausted, he crawled into a cave trying to hide but fully expecting his enemies to find him very soon. Resigned to face his death with dignity he sat down in a cave that was less than six feet in depth. As he sat against the back of the cave, he saw a spider weaving a web at the opening of the shallow cave. Within minutes that spider wove a beautiful lacework across the entire mouth of the cave. The pursuers arrived within the hour and stopped at the opening of the cave and wondered if Nolan might be hiding inside. However, the captain, upon seeing the unbroken spider’s web, informed the soldiers that it would be impossible for him to have entered without having destroyed the web. So, they left, and Frederick Nolan escaped. Later, Nolan wrote these words in his journal: "WHERE GOD IS, A SPIDER’S WEB IS LIKE A WALL, WHERE GOD IS NOT, THE WALL IS BUT A SPIDER’S WEB." 

God is Lord over all. That’s not just sentiment. It is truth! And it is a truth that applies to our dreams. So, dream and dare to dream big. Go to work on achieving your dreams but keep them in your mind committed to the loving wisdom of God. That way, if one dream dies, you know God has a better dream for you. With that mindset, you can’t lose.  

For Further Reading 

Hope Again: When Life Hurts and Dreams Fade, Charles Swindoll