"Feeling Forsaken" Genesis 40 Pastor Allan Wooters, D.Min.

If the pollsters have it right, loneliness is almost epidemic in our culture. Often, older folks are seen as the ones who battle this malady the most but really, it appears that all ages are affected. A little boy went to camp. In the middle of the week he wrote his parents a short note that said, “There are fifty boys in camp. I sure wish there were only forty-nine.” So, if you battle loneliness, you’re not alone. That’s not any real comfort but it’s the truth. It is especially hard when we have been forsaken by people we have known. This was the case with Joseph. He had been abandoned by his jealous and hate-filled siblings. He ended up a slave in Egypt and there landed in jail for a crime he did not commit. That’s where we pick up his story in Genesis 40.  

We read in vs.1 – 8 of two men, high-profile servants of Pharaoh, who did something that made the king furious with them. Since both were involved with the king’s meals perhaps Pharaoh got sick after one of their meals and he blamed the men for the illness. Regardless, there they were, and Joseph just happened to be assigned to take care of them.  

In due time, both men had a troubling dream. Their demeanor gave them away as Joseph asks why their faces were so sad (v.7). They share they had each had a troubling dream. For us this may not seem like such a big deal. We dismiss any disturbing dream as “just a dream.” Not the Egyptians! They attached great importance to dreams because it was believed that sleep put a person in contact with another world. Moreover, a pair of dreams was thought to guarantee the fulfillment of the dream. Then for these men, being in prison didn’t allow them to seek out the wise men of Egypt for an interpretation. I love Joseph’s response. “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell it to me, please” (v.8). Despite his unfair treatment for so long, Joseph had not given up on God. Talk about faith. 

Anyway, the dreams are related. For one man, the cupbearer, the dream showed that in three days he would be restored to his place of service. But for the other man, in three days he was to be executed in a gruesome fashion. When Joseph related good news to the cupbearer, he made one request: “Only keep me in mind when it goes well with you, and please do me a kindness by mentioning me to Pharaoh and get me out of this house” (v.14). How simple of a request. What sort of person would not do this? Apparently, a truly self-centered person. Verse 23 says, “Yet the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.” Incredible! How must Joseph have felt. Did he wake up the next day thinking he might be freed? But as time wore on, he knew he had been forgotten. Chapter 41:1 shows that he was to remain in that prison for two more long years.  

Regardless of how loneliness enters our life, the question is, how can we cope? We can cope and, in this message, I want to share some ways we can help ourselves when loneliness is our lot. And the first answer to loneliness might seem strange but it is this: accept that loneliness is part of our fallen world.  

Loneliness is Part of Our Fallen World 

 As Christians, we must understand and accept this fact or else we will add an underserved sense of guilt on top of our feelings of loneliness. It really is true that this world is not our home. So, how then can we avoid feeling lonely at times? On top of this, it seems we have been sold a bill of good on this subject. I have long read that the answer for loneliness is to draw near to Christ. Hasn’t God promised to meet all our needs in Christ? Isn’t loneliness included? Yes, but it’s not so simple.  

In a Christianity Today article, Amy Simpson reflected on her life as a Christian and her struggle with times of loneliness. She wondered in those times if she was doing something wrong or that there was something wrong with her. She wrote: 

Oswald Chambers lead me to expect something I don’t believe God delivers in this life. In his widely beloved devotional My Utmost for His Highest, Chambers tells us…, “When once we get intimate with Jesus, we are never lonely….” My own experience runs contra to this claim. While I have a long way to go (and a deep longing to go there), I am intimate with Jesus, and after walking with Him for more than 40 years, I still feel lonely at times. Sometimes I am unsatisfied not only with my ability to reflect Jesus but also with the very quality of my intimacy with him…. I believe this lack of satisfaction is not a problem—beyond the human condition we hold in common—but rather an indication of spiritual vitality. ¹ 

I think she’s right. If we were totally satisfied with our spiritual life then we would sense no need to draw closer to Jesus. So, you’re not a second-class Christian if you battle loneliness or other issues for that matter. You’re normal! But accepting the fact that feeling lonely at times is normal can take away some level of the negative emotions we often experience alongside loneliness. So, accept that loneliness comes upon us. But here’s another help with loneliness. It is to guard against excessive busyness.  

Guard Against Excessive Busyness 

It is pretty much self-evident that if we are burning the proverbial candle at both ends and then around the middle and up the back, we are not going to have time to truly engage with others and experience that sense of community. And believe me, I know how hard it can be to rein in our schedules. But as much as we can, we need to work at building in time to be with a few other people. If you won’t try to adjust your schedule or are convinced you can’t, then accept that loneliness will be part of your life. Thankfully, we have social media to help, right? Well…No! And this is my third point. As counterintuitive as it sounds, we need to watch our time on social media because it can create a sense of loneliness. 

Watch Your Time on Social Media 

Now, being on Facebook, Instagram or the like can help with loneliness a bit. However, it is a mixed blessing. We can stay connected with friends and family, but it isn’t face-to-face. I know, some of you are thinking, “Hey Allan, if you knew some of my family, not being face-to-face is a blessing.” I get that. Yet there’s a danger. Studies are showing that posts on Facebook for example are usually only of the good stuff in our lives and really, that’s okay. However, if we don’t understand that people post what is happy and wonderful in their lives, we can get the distorted idea that everyone else is happier and more successful than we are. What is more, continual comparison with others causes people, especially younger folks, to withdraw from real interactions with others. So ironically, the more connected you are the lonelier you might feel. Social media isn’t real human interaction so no wonder it leaves us feeling empty and lonely. ² Now it should be obvious that we need connection with at least a couple of people but outside of family, where do we find them? How about starting with people with similar interests? 

Connect with People of Similar Interests 

For Christians, church is an obvious place. As believers we have an automatic interest in the things of God, a shared faith, living life as a believer, similar values, and more. But you must do more than show up at a church once in a while. You need to get to know people in a church or serve in some capacity. You never know how a friendship could develop from this.  

Also, there are sites and apps that can connect you with others. The app called “Meetup” is a great thing. It lists gatherings of people with similar interest from all over our area. Check it out. Finally, we have the wisdom and help of God at our disposal.  

We Have the Wisdom and Help of God 

God’s wisdom comes in that He shows us in His Word that we should expect times of loneliness. In 1 Peter 1:1 we are called “aliens.” In other words, we don’t fit into this world. Our values, hopes, ideals, and aims are often in deep opposition to others who do not share our faith. That can make for times of deep alienation and loneliness. But we do have this truth: God always has a purpose in any experience we have including loneliness. Elizabeth Elliot put it well in her book, The Path of Loneliness: 

Our loneliness cannot always be fixed, but it can always be accepted as the very will of God for right now, and that turns it into something beautiful. Perhaps it is like the field wherein lies the valuable treasure. We must buy the field. It is no sun-drenched meadow embroidered with wildflowers. It is a bleak and empty place, but once we know it contains a jewel the whole picture changes. The empty scrap of forgotten land suddenly teems with possibilities…. And when, through a willed act we receive this thing we did not want, then Loneliness, the name of the hidden field nobody wants, is transformed into a place of hidden treasure. 

God alone can take our loneliness and transform it into something amazing all for His glory and our good. No, loneliness isn’t easy to deal with. There is no way Joseph avoided this emotional struggle. But as with him, so it is with us, God had a purpose for Joseph in seasons of loneliness. So, let us pray that God gives us the grace to think clearly about our loneliness and take the actions which have been shown over and over to help. Take this message to heart confident that God cares, that He knows all about your loneliness, and that He has not forsaken you.  

For Further Reading 

The Path of Loneliness, Elizabeth Elliot